Stupidity as its own reward.

"Doctor, I get viruses when I do that."
"Don't do that, then."
"But it's tooo haaard! You're just an arrogant IT geek! I WANT MY CRACK!"

Anyone still browsing with Internet Explorer or still reading their email with Outlook or Outlook Express and who does not have a corporate gun to their head deserves everything they get. 'Email virus' means Microsoft virus and nothing else. I have no sympathy whatsoever for people who try to justify their stupidity after their machine has been sodomised. Perhaps they think they're fooling themselves.

(I would be interested to know why these people start screaming abuse like junkies in danger of being cut off when you point out they've done it to themselves.)

Remember: people using Microsoft email programs are the fuckwits facilitating the spread of Sobig and flooding even those of us who do know better with attachments the size of a planet. I was greeted this morning with one hundred and twelve Sobig.F block messages. DON'T BE ONE OF THOSE FUCKWITS.

And if you browse with IE and dare whine about popups, porn links on your desktop and Start menu, massive security holes and how it takes the whole machine down with it when it crashes ... well.

Mozilla Firebird is about the finest web browser going. If you don't like that, or have less than 64MB memory, try Opera. For email, Mozilla, Netscape 7.1 (which is pretty much a nicely-packaged Mozilla 1.4 - best way to start if you're not technically confident) or Mozilla Thunderbird have the Best Spam Filtering Ever. And Opera and Eudora are also perfectly nice and not susceptible to viruses. Stop fucking yourself over.

If you get an email virus and you voluntarily use Microsoft email software, I will point and laugh at you, and encourage all others to do the same.

Any questions?

Update: Here is how to transfer your OE messages to Mozilla or Netscape, and here is how to set up the l33t spam-filtering in Netscape 7.1 or Mozilla 1.4. For Firebird or Thunderbird, all the support is on the Mozillazine Forums.

Update 2: Next week will be even worse. If your inbox has been flooded, call your ISP and tell them they need virus filtering on the mail server.

Update 3: A wonderful rant from NewsForge. "Dear Outlook users: Please remove me from your address books." And the complete explanation of the psychology of Windows defenders.