Alien sex offenders being deported from Virginia.

GREETINGS, EARTHLING. YOU SHORE GOT A "PURTY MOUTH." ANAL PROBE?

AREA 51, Virginia, Wednesday (UNN) — More than 170 life forms will be deported as part of a joint law enforcement operation to remove alien sex offenders from Virginia and mitigate the menace of anal probes.

"Operation Coldplay", an attempt to flush them out using sound waves that cannot be tolerated by any life form without their brain stopping, identified 255 beings convicted of sex crimes who are not Earth citizens. Eighty-four offenders on the list had already left the planet or been deported. The other 171 offenders were either already imprisoned in a force field powered by an eternal battery or picked up in the backwoods while looking for cattle to mutilate and hicks to anal probe.

"This is a milestone in our efforts for itself to remove criminal illegal aliens from the Commonwealth," said Virginia Attorney General Whitley Strieber, fondling an anal probe.

One 37-year-old Indian man underwent a procedure in order to have a two inch nail removed from his penis, inserted there by a band of aliens who had attacked him after he had resisted their anal probes.

Leaders say "Operation Coldplay," which is part of a nationwide operation, will serve as a model for the rest of the world to rid the planet of alien space perverts and assaults from anal probes.

• Mary-Sue Character "We come in peace (repeatedly)". Journal of Anal Probes, February 20, 2008

Jump in my car.

• Second best audiophile product of all time ... and first.

• The FreeBSD daemon falls on hard times.

• Wikipedia explained by the LaRouchians. Of course!

I'm coming up to my week off after my week on-call. I have pretty much failed to go out anywhere I was planning to, rebuild the house, see anyone I was hoping to (apologies to faithais, godgirl and pndc) or do much except a lovely birthday drinks.

But I got to spend two weeks playing with Freda, so I'll call it a win. She's almost a toddler! She's got enough teeth (two top and two bottom) to smile properly! She's getting into every bloody thing! I am quite definitely the happiest daddy ever. Happier than you.

The high quality wiring has blown a third expensive daylight spectrum compact fluorescent bulb and taken out the rest of the circuit, so downstairs has no ceiling lights. We're enormously pleased. mirrorshard tried applying his suicidal insanity theatre tech wiring skills suicidal insanity to replacing the melted fuse and the replacement promptly blew, so we're waiting till someone paid to deal with this stuff is here to do so.

I think I'll be trying for Vagabonds tomorrow night. I expect to see a pile of other leftover B-Movie refugees. Anyone going?

Update: wefixtech.co.uk is a virtual private server. It just got wiped by an idiot at the hosting company. So davidgerard.co.uk, reddragdiva.co.uk, arkady.org.uk and redcountess.co.uk are down until they can recover from the February 17th backup. Good thing we got shot of the actual paying customers and it's now strictly our toy.