But you haven't traveled until you've unraveled my taste test triangle tangle tango.

[reddragdiva]

• 3G Is Crap. (courtesy sbp)

• Best. Fanfic. Ever. (courtesy flickgc)

• The B-Movie Lurgy. (courtesy arkady)

It's been a quietly domestic week, capped off with a pleasant Friday evening at the Liquid Lab to see off zotz. The prospect of getting the metric fuck out of Cambridge in two weeks and once more being an Edinburgh man has taken about five years off his apparent age. redcountess finally dipped into our entertainment budget and had a wonderful time with you all.

Saturday evening, arkady and I shall be attending Slimelight. I will be skirted. It's such a pity it's a no-cameras venue.

I have a pile of interview questions here. I generally have something against LiveJournal quizzes, but ones this personalised are entirely another matter.

ali_anarres:

1. If you could sit in on one band/artist while in the studios recording stuff, who would you choose?

Oooh ... no idea. I'm not sure that the artists with the most interesting music would be so interesting to watch at work. Sitting in on early industrialists like Cabaret Voltaire or Severed Heads in the days before MIDI - back when running a synthesizer required skill with a soldering iron - would be a fine thing, though.

2. If you could make one thing illegal, what would you pick?

I suspect it would be something involving privacy and data protection. I would be more interested in repealing laws. Large chunks of the Criminal Justice Bill. That abortion of a Live Music act they're trying to push through.

3. Where do you see yourself living in 5 years time?

By then we should have Our First Mortgage, probably somewhere in London. And I will finally have a house to ship a third of a ton of vinyl to.

4. If you could magically be blessed with the ability to speak another language fluently, which one would you choose?

German. I've been meaning to learn another language, and I think that's a good candidate. Not that I've lifted a finger in said direction as yet.

5. If you could be female for a day, what would you do with that day?

I think pretty much the entirety of that day would be spent having sex. I can just imagine calling up friends and telling them, "I am female for one day - WE ONLY HAVE TWENTY-FOUR HOURS TO MOVE THE EARTH!"

marnameow:

1. If you could be anywhere, and do anything, for just one day, where would you be and what would you be doing?

No idea. It's too big a question and I don't have an answer ready.

2. Do you like the taste of sea-salt-water on your lips after you've been swimming in the sea? Describe the taste, or your memories of it?

Hmm, not really. Although I do like swimming in the sea (even though I haven't in nearly ten years). I recall the taste as too salty.

(if you say you've never swum in the sea i will fling you into the atlantic)

Last time I did was when I lived in Perth, early 1994. I'd go down to the beach with my girlfriend Louise and her dog. She was from Melbourne and had just come over from Sydney, and was amazed to find seawater that tasted of salt rather than industrial waste or sewage. The salt water really did a number on the green dye in her hair. The dog never did figure out how to swim in Indian Ocean-sized waves.

3. If you could automagically shrink yourself a few inches, would you? Why?

Nope. I have no regrets at all being a big guy. I walk down deserted streets and dark alleys and look like the person other people don't want to meet. Yobs don't hassle me. It's pretty good.

4. If I asked you what the 'best' sex you ever had was, would it be the physically best sex, the closest emotional connection, somewhere between the two, or for other reasons entirely? Would not-directly-related details like location of said best sex come into play, and if so how much?

A combination of physical and emotional. And pheromones. Although particularly strong examples of any of those get a lot of points.

I wouldn't rate any given episode or person as 'best'. For a while, the title of 'best sex ever' was held by a night with someone I didn't like at all, and who felt the same way about me. Amazing things, hormones.

5. What were you like at sixteen?

Suicidally depressive, music-obsessed and spotty.

jezebel_z:

1. what's the one thing you're most proud of?

Corrupting youth. It's the only way to live.

(You are well beyond my powers of corruption.)

2. what's the best pub for real ale you know of in london?

I know good pubs and I know good places for real ale, but the two pretty much don't coincide. The best places for real ale I can find appear to be Wetherspoons pubs in general - a pint of real beer for £1.60 in London! - but they are mediocre at best in all other respects. The pub I love most is the Dev.

3. if you could organise some kind of event, anywhere in the world, where would it be, why, and what kind of event?

For lots of British bands used to playing in the toilets that pass for live rock'n'roll venues in this country to play Melbourne Rock City.

4. goats. discuss.

I have nothing to say concerning goats.

5. what's the thing that's pissed you off most recently?

My esteemed fellow admin at work. He was having another attack of his personality on Wednesday morning. We have learnt to deal with these by following his directions as given, including pitfalls.

flickgc:

1. What's cluechalking?

Courtesy codepope (via ciphergoth): "Tired of trying to figure out if someone has a clue? Let me introduce cluechalking. Come across someone who is particularly clueless? Cluechalk them with a 0 in a circle. It shouldn't be too hard. As they are that clueless, they won't notice you pulling a bit of chalk over their forehead. For best effects though use a permanent marker."

2. What makes you happy? Can i have a place, a thing and a song, please?

A suitable public house with good company, preferably goths or Australian indie rockers. Real beer. I cannot pick a single song for this, but the thing on my XMMS playlist that's cheered me most recently has been this weird recording I found of "Knife Slits Water" by A Certain Ratio that I have no idea of the source of.

3. Are you looking forward to getting married? Why has it had to be in such a hurry? I don't understand your personal life. Will you explain it to me?

Yes, I am. To satisfy the demands of the Home Office - see the announcement and the day before. You think I understand my personal life? Yes, over beer with large sheets of paper and marker pens in several colours.

(It's not nearly that complicated. I have a fiancée and a girlfriend. They like each other very much and conspire against me. And I remain a highly available tart, the trouble is almost no free time. How annoying! By the way, you're gorgeous and charming and I am distinctly interested in you. Let's make a date.)

Being a boy, I am stupid and slow on the uptake. It took me nearly three years to realise just what a good idea redcountess was and about six months for arkady.

4. Where would you choose to live, if you could live anywhere and on any budget?

Right now? Camden. I am a social butterfly and require a busy social environment. I love the Dev passionately, despite its recalcitrance towards the notion of stocking real beer.

5. What do you do for a living, other than play around with computers? Is that your ideal job, or would you rather be doing something else?

Unix sysadmin is my only paid job at present. This is about the only field of work I've found which I can stand to do all day every day without going postal or otherwise inappropriately revealing my personality or sense of humour. Actually, the music journalism wasn't too bad on that scale, but the pay was and is utterly appalling.

I have previously been paid as a music journalist - the music industry is an excellent place to get to really hate music, and in my twenties I had nightmares of being stuck in it for the term of my natural life - public servant, office shitkicker of various sorts and Internet tech support. My CV is science fiction - starting with solid plausibility before going off on wild flights of fancy.

My ideal job would involve not having to work one. I despise having to work for a living. Failing that, telecommuting. I like being at home all day. Cat on lap, music playing.

(I may not be a music journalist any more, but I try to keep up the music fanzine thing in the modern idiom.)

unagothae:

1. What's your favorite color?

Charcoal grey. Preferably as silk boxers.

2. Would you tell me a secret?

I would tell you just about any secret. The entirety of LiveJournal and the Web, maybe not ...

3. What kinds of things make you cry?

Panic attacks (thankfully quite rare) and deeply severe rows with loved ones (also thankfully rare).

4. What kinds of things make you perky?

Social situations. This is why I moved from Perth to Melbourne to London: a love of interesting places with a sufficient mass of people. Provided I have a space to get away from them when I wish to. I fear the only places left after this are New York and Tokyo. (I'll be sticking to the first world.)

5. What's the best gift you ever got?

The winner is still probably my thirtieth birthday party, a semi-surprise party organised by Barbarella (late of alt.gothic, still on aus.culture.gothic). All my friends and my two favourite Melbourne bands playing. I still don't know what it cost and I still shudder to think.

The hat Liz got me for my thirty-fourth is pretty damn cool as well.

Did you like your answers? I'm not sure I can think of five questions as good as those I got or many others have written. But I can give it a go for anyone who really wants.

I also asked duranorak, but don't have questions from her yet. I look forward to the opportunity for a followup.

The Linux binary of OpenOffice 1.0.3.1 works very nicely on FreeBSD with linux_base-7 installed, on both my and redcountess's machines. As does the Linux binary of Mozilla Firebird, which is running like a charm. WinMX doesn't want to work with my Wine installation, complaining of DLL version conflicts. Ah well.