A teenage Rasputin takes the sting from a gin.

See 'Merkins in their native habitat: Leicester Square! The purpose of which is to fleece them as effectively as possible while the natives watch. We had dinner at Garfunkel's, which is cheap with good service. Harry Potter 3 is nice enough as a standalone movie — it papers tolerably over the plot holes. Emma Watson is growing breasts. See redcountess' review. The Odeon Mezzanine is the most disabled-obnoxious cinema I've ever seen.

This morning I accompanied Liz to an ultrasound. arkady came over in the afternoon and we looked at a poxy flat for her in Woodford. Then we went to the Dev. The girl bouncer is frightened of crickets. Arkady spotted a cricket on the floor after we'd sat down, alive though evidently not doing too well and with no future where it was. I got a flyer, picked it up and took it outside. I showed the bouncer and she jumped back going, "eurgh, a bug!" The six foot one bouncer girl, the Saturday night guardian against the trendy hordes, is scared of a cricket. I asked if there was any greenery in this concrete heaven. She pointed out the lone tree across Hawley Crescent.

Well, that was my good deed for the day. I suppose I'd better get on with some evil now.

Robin and Dave were playing some damn fine goth rock. Robin's bright red hair is excellent. Goth summer wear is straps and nice boots. Wear nearly nothing, but have big boots at one end and big hair at the other.

The flyer I carried the cricket out on has entertainment value:

ARE YOU A TEENAGE WILD CHILD?

A new ITV1 show is looking for the decadent, the dangerous and the downright outrageous.

Call: 0207 578 4237
Or e-mail: teenagers@granadamedia.com

pixel_person, jezebel_z, I'm looking at you. duranorak, you can fib about your age.

We went to the Super Bowl Noodle Bar for dinner. The waiter greeted us with "You haven't been in for a while!" and correctly predicted Arkady's order of chicken chow mein.