X Window System.

But hey, our logo is way cool.

X-Windows (colloquially known as the X Window System) is the standard graphical interface for computers running Linux. It is a technological marvel, constructed by geeks far deeper than thou. It does amazing and wonderful things that you wouldn't have thought possible. It runs on every operating system you can think of and several you wish you hadn't. It will display your applications to the same computer, the one next to you or one running on the friggin' moon.

It doesn't run your new video card, though it might next year or the year after. Maybe. Why don't you write a driver for it?

X-Windows does not determine the look and feel of applications running on it. As such, it affords the sufficiently technical user almost unlimited powers to customise it, though it somehow remains impossible to get it looking as nice as Mac OS X or even Windows XP.

( An interface smorgasbord! )

Another from Uncyclopedia, which is read-only right now so I can't do the edits I was going to this morning with new ideas from vatine and so forth. Feel free to put more ideas in the comments or, indeed, in the article itself. Released under CC by-nc-sa, you know the drill. Inspired by alexmc's xorg.conf problems and, of course, having written the Wikipedia version.

Update: Uncyclopedia is writable again. Article updated with several of your wonderful ideas. Still need interface screenshots. An NT blue screen, an Atari ST bomb screen, the Cindy Crawford pic (NSFW! Naked ch1xx0r!) with an xclock over the n*pples ...

The sweet smell of success.

The letter just arrived.

redcountess HAS INDEFINITE LEAVE TO REMAIN!

[Poll #573889]

Hear the hatchet. Grind, grind.

Healthy living has done for me. There were free doughnuts on at work today and I pigged out. I haven't eaten that level of sugar-laden lard in some time and I feel awful. Buzzing and crashing at the same time. And my guts really, really hate me. Mind you, coffee was like liquid crack with all that sugar to work on.

("Healthy living" does not include giving up smoking, thus proving that cloves are in fact a vitamin.)

I've been thinking about the COCK for the last several days. Really, that's what's been motivating me to do this "exercise and don't eat crap" thing. For a burst of energy and the motivation for ten more leg lifts, picturing the COCK works like a charm. MORE EXERCISE! THERE'S COCK TO CHASE! redcountess finds this amusing, arkady raises an eyebrow. I need a good source of Captain Jack screencaps.

I am clearly on crack in general. We got to sleep last night at 1:30am. Liz berated me for coming to bed so late when there was so much to do and one of the crappy rental-grade cupboards had fallen off its damn hinges. So I set the alarm for seven, woke up at 6:10am and finally accepted I was awake and got out of bed at half-past six. And started on putting the cupboard back together, of course. This evening I have brought Liz flowers to celebrate that they can't kick her out and that she therefore feels much more secure in things, we have done the Shazam thing with our wedding rings and I have cleaned the bins, rehung one cupboard (the other's screws won't come out even with copious WD-40 and I may have to drill them out) and helped unpack Liz's plant order that arrived today. I'm about to fetch her dinner (I will not be eating. Blurgh.) and then I'll be cleaning the bathroom. When I say "sorry, can't come out, doing housework," that means there's a mountain of it high enough to induce domestic disharmony. (Apologies to karen2205! We must coffee ourselves some time.)

Liz just ordered Sky. Serious telly time!

X Window System has progressed nicely just since this morning, with many of your fine suggestions being implemented. I must put together screenshots.

Hoy, strangedave! Call, will ya? If the mobile goes to message that means I'm at work and you should leave a message!

Update: Found the icon. w00t!