Kevin J. Anderson.

"With And Kevin on board, working from a left-over bassline from one of Mizz Rosenbaum's old demo tapes, we can't see how this one won't be a hit. Hell, I'll do a gay cowboy film if it fails!"

~ Sumner Redstone on Fountainhead Earth II

"MORE COKE! AND HOOKERS!"

~ Brian Herbert, Christopher Tolkien, et al.

"He taught me everything. Did you know you can outsource the writing to India now?"

~ J.K. Rowling

And Kevin J. Anderson is the most prolific sci-fi novelist of the last thirty years. Most famous for his novelisation of The Eye of Argon by L. Ron Hubbard, he is also responsible for thirty-three Star Trek novels, eight StarCraft, twelveteen Titan A.E., a couple of X-Files rehashes, the leatherbound acid-free Heritage editions of Pokémon and the dribbling ass of what was once the Dune books.

He wrote an original work or two once, but sobered up soon after.

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Another for Uncyclopedia, cc-by-nc-sa 2.0. Conceived in a burst of horror early Sunday morning. Suggestions welcomed.