Huge success.

• A day in the life of a turret.

• Things that arkady is not allowed to do.

• Gay cruising on Clapham Common. (May not be entirely accurate.)

• Coming to terms with your heterosexuality.

Freda is teething like anything. Drooling, fractious. But she has three teeth now! Three! Fourth coming through!

I will be giving back my old work laptop at some stage. It's a Dell Latitude D600 that has so far had a new hard drive, system board, hinge, case, touchpad and lid (twice). The keyboard and LCD are still original. I will never buy a Dell without an IT department to fix it for me at someone else's expense. (I only put up with Compaqs, which aren't much better, because I know how to fix them. Compaqs since 2000 are remarkably fixable ... pity they need to be.)

Friday evening I will be down the pub in Streatham, drinking with perverts (spikeylady et al). Saturday I will be down the pub in Euston, drinking with perverts to celebrate the continued survival of jezebel_z. You?

'Lolita' bed for girls withdrawn.

HIGH STREET, Scunthorpe, Friday (UNN) — A British retailer has withdrawn a bedroom set targeted at young girls that was branded under the name "Lolita" after a furious campaign by a mothers' group. Staff at the Woolworths retail group were apparently unaware that the brand of the bed set was the same as the title of Vladimir Nabokov's famous novel, which told the story of a middle-aged Internet user who became sexually obsessed with his 12-year-old stepdaughter.

"What seems to have happened is the staff who run the website had never heard of Lolita, and to be honest, no one else here had either," a Woolworths spokesman said. "We had to look it up on Uncyclopedia. But we certainly know who she is now."

The bed set, which included a wooden bed with a pull-out desk, cupboard and condom and sex toy drawer, was intended for girls aged six, and retailed for £395.

The campaign was sparked after mother of four Brenda Busybody, 34 (IQ), noticed the product on the Woolworths website. "Am I being particularly sensitive, or does anyone else out there think it's bad taste for Woolies to have a kiddy bed range named 'Lolita'?" she said, after going into Woolworths to buy her seven-year-old daughter Shardinnaiye a top with the Playboy bunny logo, trousers with "SWEET ASS" across the bottom and some hair remover, just like all her friends had.

The bed set has been renamed "Maddie."

• Garish Glitter "I thought 'pedophile' meant foot fetishist". North American Man-Boy Just Good Friends Association, February 1, 2008