Today show MP3 and transcript.

Right-click, download mp3 here. MP3 and transcript (by TRS-80, cheers!) are copyright BBC; if they object, I'm sure they'll let me know.

I'm on Channel 4 News (7pm) and More4 News tonight, possibly another thing too. HOLY CRAP. Phone melting. Work colleagues most amused. Must eat. Excuse me.

Phone is mellllting. SEND MORE BRAINS.

• Photo: visio is for the unworthy and inadequate. Must write a notnews.

Fun at Channel 4, recorded a sequence of soundbites for them to pick'n'choose from. News story with video — their Flash player is crappy crappy crappy and doesn't buffer. I look DEAD. The IWF head came across as a curtain-twitching weasel.

redcountess, arkady and nyecamden (whose intarweb and Eee I abused appallingly last night while he restrained his boredom) are the BEST LOVED ONES EVER for putting up with me saving the world on occasion.

I wasn't aware before going on it just how important Radio 4 Today is. In fact, I'd barely heard of it. Do I get deported now?

Freda just said "Dad-dy! Hel-lo! Dad-dy!" *melllt*