All fool's day.

• I have written a new Uncyclopedia article. I wish to propagate the meme "blue-suited spirochetes."

Our elderly ex-stray cat Tabs has just had his first vet visit since we got him! He got blood tests, will need his teeth cleaned and needs an X-ray. He has three meals a day, doesn't put on weight and has chronic diarrhoea. He has a heart murmur. His back legs have muscle wastage. Old cats, eh? The vet bill means Tabs is arkady's present this Christmas, birthday and Bosič. Good thing I have money now.

Anyone got a spare drumkit they could lend us? The younger teen has formed a band (exercising the musical talent inherited from both parents) and their drummer doesn't actually have a kit of her own ...