Jam-up on a leaping tree. Head on! Head first!

[reddragdiva]

• Goofus, Gallant, Rashomon.

I demand my Domestic Goddess ceremonial knickers. I cook, I fuck, and Monday and Tuesday I comprehensively pwn3d the house and garden bit.

Monday evening was a much-delayed visit to Homebase for storage options for the spare room — I will bring out this house's inner Tardis — and assorted other crap. Most of which they didn't have (bathroom storage units that won't become rust farms, mould farms or both) or were crap (the garden loungers). But I did get two more asters (white), a couple of cinderblocks (to make a back door step), a bucket that doesn't suck like the 49p one from Asda (which arkady is adapting into a solar still! Don't break the gadget chain!), vicious weedkilling spray (when it's a sea of bindweed, I'm really not going to hand paint each leaf), a steel-cored clothes line and grilling tongs. Arkady came along and got another Venus fly trap, this one called Audrey II. I am now in the class of person who spends over a hundred quid on a random Homebase visit and asks for their loyalty card.

Tuesday was further rebuilding at ruthi and oscarhocklee's. Arkady did the kitchen and bathroom, while I tackled the hall and the front yard. From overgrown weed pit strewn with rubbish to cleared thing with nicely polished front door. Cookie actually didn't recognise his own house and walked past it. Their landlord needs to be taken out and shot for the eggshell paint that takes marks like a sheet of paper and is literally impossible to clean without taking it off (Arkady: "It's cheap. They buy it by the job lot. Did I mention cheap?") and the amazing banister repair where they put the screws directly into the plaster rather than into rawl plugs in the plaster. Well done.

This morning I have a job interview in Mordor (in darkest Surrey, where the suburbs lie). This evening we are booked to see The Producers, and I only hope the girls are well enough to come out!

Update: The flat inspection went perfectly. Excellent!