Scientology exhibit valiantly protects the mentally ill.

[reddragdiva]

COLUMBIA, Missouri, Thursday (UNEX) — On Thursday and Friday, the Capitol Rotunda in Columbia, Missouri will host an exhibit titled The Industry of Death. If you didn't know that psychiatrists and the entire psychiatric profession are part of a secret plan for world domination, developed in part by Adolf Hitler, then it’s time to load the kids in the car for a day of fun at the Capitol.

Leaked American Psychiatric Association design for an "airliner to Auschwitz," developed with Nazi rocketeer Werner von Hitler.

The Industry of Death is sponsored by the Church of Scientology, a tax-deductible community institution of flawless repute. Hosted by Tom Cruise, the presentation, scripted by Kevin J. Anderson, reveals a host of little-known facts about the field of psychiatry. Twenty-five percent of psychiatrists sexually abuse their patients. Psychiatrists deliberately kill about 10,000 people a year. Hitler's extermination camps were the apex of the psychiatric-eugenic programme, the full flowering of the plans laid by psychiatry and the perfection of murder on an assembly-line basis.

Psychiatrists were responsible for the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, since psychiatrists are responsible for the existence of terrorists and suicide bombers, which is why they worked so hard to drive away the Church of Scientology missions at Ground Zero by disguising themselves as fire chiefs and telling them to get the hell out of the rescue workers' faces.

In 2005, Cruise famously launched his own attack on psychiatry, and Fountainhead Earth went on to become the biggest-grossing film of the year.

The American Psychiatric Association, being unable to refute these entirely credible and well-supported assertions, has long adopted a policy of silence on the matter, behaving as though the Church is beneath their notice — in the hope that the questions over their rôle will just go away and they can get on with their work of building a pyramid of charred souls for the greater glory of Xenu.

Cruise realises the job ahead of the Church. "But I'm sure we can all come together and agree that psychiatrists are systematically murdering people and caused September 11, and work on auditing off these parasites stuck all over our society."

• A. Yn Rand "Psychiatrists puked down my shirt when I got drunk last night". Xenu Shrugged, January 9th, 2006

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Uncyclopedia, CC-by-nc-sa 2.0. The best part is having been one of the people pushing so hard to get enough of the above into popular culture that it's comprehensible.

Comments

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

Psst... the Capitol of Missouri is actually in Jefferson City. Columbia is about 30 miles to the north, and it has the University of Missouri.

Come to think of it, though, that university does have a medical school. A medical school with psychiatrists on staff! I bet Jefferson City is just what the psychiatrists want me to think is the capital city -- in actuality it's a Secret Death Camp. It all makes sense to me now! Every few years we elect people who seem normal and intelligent and sensible. They go to "Jefferson City"... and turn into frothing idiot soulless zombies who can't find their asses with both hands and a flashlight. This happens because they have been trained by psychiatrists to eat the bodies of the dead.

Thank Xenu I discovered this in time.

Sure, laugh by your own graveyards.

[(Anonymous)]

The wrong placement of the capital is not the only inaccuracy in beckyzoole's post.

I get it though - the idea is to ridicule Scientology while asserting that shrinks know what they're doing.

This is all well and good. Except it misses the point. How many kids are on Ritalin in America? Close to 10 million. That's one shitload of kids on drugs. See http://www.fightforkids.org

How many shrinks abuse their patients? More than there ever should be. How many shrinks perform Electric Shock Treatment on the elderly? Too many.

And what about TeenScreen, that wonderful new program meant to put every teen on psych drugs? Brave New World, here we come.

Laugh all you want. It's all good fun until someone loses a brain.

Re: Sure, laugh by your own graveyards.

[reddragdiva]

I'm so pleased the Church of Scientology is using Google Blog Search.

Say, friend, have you heard about Xenu.

Re: Sure, laugh by your own graveyards.

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

And what about TeenScreen, that wonderful new program meant to put every teen on psych drugs?

What a great idea! As someone who has raised two teens, I'd say it's about f*cking time.