Dianetics™ Self-Clearing explained.

[reddragdiva]

[19:23:35] >Diva< went to birmingham on the weekend to annoy scientologists
[19:23:37] >Diva< that was fun
[19:23:51] [******] i'll bet. they're fun to annoy
[19:23:55] >Diva< indeed :-)
[19:23:59] >Diva< we had helium balloons too.
[19:24:09] >Diva< you would not believe how the kids go CRAZY for balloons.
[19:24:17] [******] heh. of course i would
[19:24:18] >Diva< teenagers to early 20s love balloons.
[19:24:30] [******] doesn't everyone love balloons?
[19:25:04] [******] remind me to tell you sometime about the first supervisor i had at ********- one of the world's worst advertisements for scientology
[19:25:09] [******] oh geez
[19:25:10] >Diva< oh yes please
[19:25:22] >Diva< better yet write it down so I can post it anonymously ;-)
[19:25:29] [******] *snerk*
[19:26:09] [******] he was just a nut. bought their whole line. spent piles of money on it
[19:26:13] >Diva< yep yep
[19:26:22] [******] didn't ever help that i could see
[19:26:30] >Diva< well, no, oddly enough
[19:26:42] >Diva< there's a reason for that
[19:26:51] >Diva< (i.e. that it's plausible rubbish)
[19:27:00] [******] i find myself trying to remember life in 1979 now, you know ;)
[19:27:02] [******] indeed
[19:27:14] [******] he was mostly a nice enough guy, just tweaked
[19:27:25] [******] and an utter flake
[19:27:53] >Diva< yep
[19:28:42] [******] he and i eventually butted heads on some coding methodology question, and our manager moved me elsewhere
[19:29:23] >Diva< heh
[19:29:53] >Diva< you know, Ron had stuff to say about EVERY creative field
[19:30:02] >Diva< I don't think he ever turned his attention to programming though
[19:32:40] [******] heh. i had to stop and figure out who you meant by "ron", since i'm used to referring to him as "elron"
[19:34:01] >Diva< "Ron". Your friend and mine!
[19:34:15] ****** blehs
[19:34:47] [******] i like using "elron". seems more obnoxious, somehow
[19:38:00] >Diva< Q. What was Elrond's surname? A. Hubbard.
[19:38:27] [******] oh- the funniest bit- i got him to loan me his copy of dianetics (i sure as hell wasn't going to buy a copy)
[19:39:02] [******] it was sort of interesting, in a completely sfnal essay sort of way
[19:39:27] [******] (as in, i looked at it as pure sf, just without any plot ;)
[19:40:18] [******] have you read it?
[19:40:40] >Diva< I haven't actually read it.
[19:40:46] >Diva< I have dipped into bits.
[19:40:52] >Diva< I have no plans or urge to read it.
[19:41:00] [******] oh, you should. really. give you a bit of insight into these loons
[19:41:02] >Diva< Oddly enough, many Scientologists haven't read the book either.
[19:41:07] [******] heh
[19:41:12] >Diva< they think it's too big and scary to approach.
[19:41:15] [******] you'll be better able to harrass them
[19:41:16] >Diva< they own a copy unopened.
[19:41:19] ****** snorts
[19:41:26] [******] i did read the whole thing
[19:41:27] >Diva< oh trust me. I'm what passes for an expert.
[19:41:31] >Diva< this is a frightening concept.
[19:41:35] ****** giggles madly
[19:41:50] >Diva< "for local values of expert"
[19:41:54] [******] "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" ;)
[19:42:14] >Diva< although on sat down the pub I explained scientology and its appeal to another non-Scienotlogist, while an ex-Scientologist listened to me talking
[19:42:20] >Diva< and he said I pretty much had it nailed.
[19:42:40] [******] anyway, to finish my story
[19:42:44] >Diva< mmmm
[19:43:09] [******] there's a chapter in which elron fairly clearly (erm...) describes how one goes about getting cleared
[19:43:25] [******] these days we'd call it a past life regression trance
[19:43:57] [******] but the goal as described in _dianetics_ was to go back to one's own conception
[19:44:25] [******] the bit about going back farther than that didn't get invented until after _dianetics_ was written
[19:45:10] [******] so i was bored one day at work, went to the head, and on impulse put myself into the trance state described in the book- while sitting on the the toilet
[19:45:20] [******] prolly took me about 5 minutes or so
[19:45:50] >Diva< on the toilet.
[19:45:58] >Diva< perfect place to do scientology.
[19:46:03] >Diva< anyway, do continue ...
[19:46:07] [******] did get an answer. how closely it resembled reality i dunno. i'd have to ask my parents, and i'd rather not
[19:47:06] [******] so i come back to our office, and at the first opportunity tell him i'd cleared myself. he was so awed he didn't question me at _all_
[19:47:22] [******] just accepted it at face value
[19:48:19] [******] have you finished laughing yet? ;)
[19:48:31] >Diva< uhmm.
[19:48:40] >Diva< scientology does select the ... gullible.
[19:48:42] ****** giggles madly some more
[19:48:52] >Diva< "excuse me, I just have to go to the ladies' to ... clear myself."
[19:49:03] [******] :D
[19:50:09] [******] so that's my scientology story. good enough for one of your anonymous posts?
[19:50:11] >Diva< I CLEARED MYSELF ON THE TOILET!
[19:50:14] >Diva< good fucking god
[19:50:27] >Diva< oh definitely :-)
[19:50:31] [******] glad you approve ;)

[19:50:42] [******] it's the truth, even
[19:51:17] [******] that's why you should go read the book- so you can clear yourself on the toilet, too
[19:51:31] >Diva< BETTER THAN A COLONIC!!!
[19:52:14] [******] it's a really easy trance to get into
[19:53:08] [******] i want a copy, dear heart
[19:54:22] [******] if you want to put a date on it, it would've been late 1979 or early 1980. and i was 23

Comments

[arkady.livejournal.com]

ROFL!!!!!!!

Having read "Dianetics", I must say whoever this is is right - the toilet is the perfect place to "clear" yourself. ;-)

[redcountess]

I have a pretty good idea who that is :-)

Oh, I *did* tell you about the time when I was 18 and a friend and I went along with the Co$ recruiter to the church in Russell Street and was given a copy of Dianetics? My father was furious when I got home and threw away the book. He was really anti-Co$. Go Dad!

[sheilamarie.livejournal.com]

Wooo! I cleared myself this morning! Go me! ;)

[reddragdiva]

Congratulations! You now owe Ron one hundred and eighty thousand dollars!

[kest]

One of my best friends was raised scientologist. When she had heart surgery at about 13, I remember her going through some sort of process that apparently involved lots of saunas and questions. Don't know if its related to this 'clearing' stuff or not.

[reddragdiva]

The Purification. It's odds on her liver was completely fucked by it.