By the time I reached Wisconsin, it was looking just like Perth.

Just getting used to a US keyboard again ... I'm writing this offline at meridian_sun's place. LJ and email updates will be intermittent at best. If you're in Melbourne and you're not certain we have your phone number, fill in the poll and/or email me at fun at velvet dot net.

After doing our finest headless chook impersonations, redcountess and I got on the tube to Heathrow for our much-delayed proper honeymoon. arkady came to see us off. I will be missing her terribly.

We had no time for a Last Proper British Pint For Three Weeks. But I bought a camera, a Casio EX-S20. It's about the size of a credit card and 1cm thick. Two megapixels and no optical zoom, but that's fine for this size and weight. OH MY GOD THIS THING IS COOL. After I told her what I'd spent, Liz declared her firm resolve to get a Palm Tungsten T. At which point I inherit the TRG Pro. I've married a gadgeteer.

(The process of buying the camera reminded me why I normally don't leave the house with the credit card. Switch is bad enough; Visa is just fatally easy.)

Qantas' food is edible and the drinks are free even in cattle class. The beer is Australian piss lager, each variety of which is worse than the others. I've been spoilt. I tolerated the VB as it was cold enough. But it's something to consume, not enjoy.

I can sleep on planes, and in fact find it difficult not to. Liz can't. So we arrived at Singapore (the gadget shop nearest gate C13 is rubbish, so no Palm for Liz) and later Melbourne with me in fine shape and Liz in frazzled collapse. One of the stewardesses did come up to Liz in Singapore Airport and compliment her on her freshly-redyed hair, though. (g*th.)

Jo fetched us from the airport at stupid o'clock this morning. Paying $19.50 for three coffees, a couple of muffins and a bottle of water brought economic realities home to me. John Howard's economic miracle (public services run like Tories, but highest taxes in Australian history) has raised prices what seems like about twenty percent since I was last here. Whereas I'd previously have placed Melbourne's parity purchasing power relative to London at $1.50 for £1, after popping down the shops just now I'm thinking it's closer to the actual exchange rate. You'll be buying me drinks, okay.

Six hours here and I'm already talkin' out my nose. It's a beautiful spring-like autumn's day. My breathing is holding out, though I'm coughing a lot. We are staying at Jo's unbelievably gorgeous house in Reservoir, a short walk from the train station. Unprepossessing outside, but the inside is like it's in Perth. Liz says this is what she wants in London. Liz is snoozing.

Jo has her old copies of Party Fears. And a scanner. And a CD burner.

Later I will be popping into town to cash rather more traveller's cheques than I'd been hoping, get a couple of UK-to-Australia power adapters, pick up the hire car and buy a prepaid SIM.