Trying to leave this drinking place, my feet are magnetised for furniture.

Internet rumour actually true shock!

My suggestions for the SAVE THE DEV campaign:

1. Working dishwasher. Being famous for dirty glasses isn't actually a good thing.
2. Clean the pipes. The beer needs to be drinkable.
3. I've asked Robin about real ale before, and he says it goes off before actually getting drunk — even the nitrokeg stuff. But if you can sell Newky Brown in bottles, how about a real beer in bottles? (Anything but Bombadier, that is.)
4. More seating.
5. Ventilation.
6. Dress code problems, c.f. the unfortunate Earth Loop Recall incident. I've seen the obvious trouble chavs turned away, but it's biting too many of those precious few customers.

Your suggestions welcomed.

I suspect the problem is that twenty years ago goths were pretentious gutter trash, now they're overpaid computer geeks so they're fussier. (The other problem is that Camden is being methodically killed by the council, but that's not something the Dev can change directly.) For the poor, the competition is Wetherspoon's, who have no smoke and drinkable beer very cheap.