Collapse board.

Ikea MALM beds? Just Say No. Ours broke last night at 2am, and we weren't even doing anything that would make it a good story. The central steel strut broke out of its screw holes. I have no idea how we're going to fix this thing. Last night we slept on the rather more stable (if too small) divan in the computer room.

We get signal. D-S-L! D-S-L! RAH! RAH RAH!

I desperately need incoming cash. Has anyone here successfully disguised several years' system administration to a sufficient degree to be considered for a job typing? Shit-hot audio typist here. I will also be signing on today.

Various other things have happened, but not everything goes here.