I understand you can buy a "life" in concentrated form.

It's a quarter to three, the alarm's set for seven thirty and I'm sitting up next to arkady as she waits for the antacid to kick in. Arkady did make a very spicy chili con carne with added shitload of basil for dinner. The contractions are getting stronger and Freda might actually show up today! Or not.

arkadianchilde is Arkady's pregnancy journal, kept unlocked as a public service. I'm telling her to write a book. We've kicked the crap midwife off the case (and used the words "formal complaint" talking to her boss), and we've been seeing really nice ones instead. One came round today with the home birth kit, which is just so cool. Dig those pictures. And they all love the birth plan. As far as we can tell, all the bureaucratic rubbish we've been dealing with is entirely due to the crap midwife, and we shouldn't even have to go BOFH on their arses.

Arkady and I spent this weekend at home waiting for a birth while redcountess went to Whitby to party with ashbet, kiraboo and the g*ths. Her photos.

My boss knows that when I get the call, I'm out the building pronto; we arranged I can tick that time off as paternity leave. (You're supposed to book paternity leave a week in advance. Most human resources people I've known were mothers, but I wouldn't be surprised if they did give birth per appointed hourly slot.) It helps that my boss's boss has two teenagers and has been very enthusiastic for my impending fatherhood.

I look forward to thinking "The tube! That's the place without baby poo! Work! The place I can sleep!" each morning. I expect I'll catch up on sleep around 2025, when we pack Freda off to university. Why don't they do summer camp in the UK, where you can get rid of the kid for weeks at a time.

TEH ILLEEEEGIL NUMBAH WILL EAT J00R AAAASSSSSS.

• Stop using Hotmail. Microsoft are suggesting that admins of servers whose mail is being eaten pay $1400 a year for their mail to get through. Gmail is now open to all and doesn't silently vanish messages (except your sent messages to mailing lists, which is a nuisance).

• London Wikimeet (not Wikipedia), 6th June.

A flashmob of fight-the-power morons are still spamming an allegedly illegal number into every input box on the web. The Wikipedia admins collectively declared "FUCK OFF YOU SPAMMERS." (Some have gone rabid "ZOMG LAWSUIT" and we were getting a pile of oversight requests as well — I didn't zap, Fred did, until Erik told us not to. Mind you, it nicely short-circuited the idiotic deletion review.) Eventually it was put into the spam filter, because distributed spam is spam.

We're a project to write an encyclopedia, not a public graffiti wall. You want to paint "09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0" in fifty-foot high letters on every Hollywood studio, I'll buy brushes. You want to splatter it across Wikipedia, you can fuck off. I expect the article will contain the number in due course; I'd guess two to four weeks, any earlier would in my opinion only encourage further use of Wikipedia as a graffiti wall.

Immediatism is the greatest curse of our popularity and blatantly interferes with the far from finished encyclopedia project. Wikimedia has a newspaper. No candy for you. You come back, one month.

Update: Wikipedia:Keyspam.