I see nothing wrong with dreaming of buxom Russian girls with machine-gun breasts.

• Please give some quids for happyblade to get a mobility scooter.

• How did this article fail to mention the worth "g*th"?

• Keep your kids safe!

• For US election junkies: Colbert Report interview and Keith Olbermann interview with Nate Silver from FiveThirtyEight.com.

• And this is an important statement in many contexts.

• NotN: US Army: "RT @304thMIbattalion: Twitter terrorist weapon".

Madam has diarrhoea from the antibiotics. Tasks it never occurred to me I would ever perform in my life, #13466: wiping a cat's arse.

Vagabonds was a lovely night out, though I was missing nyecamden. Got utterly smashed and took lotsa pics. Win. Told Paul Sticks he's so gotta get d_floorlandmine DJing. Tip for 6'4" big girly poofs: Boots M/L holdups. Right size for my legs.

Teenagers sent home. Today I am hung over.