Pleasure is the boss.

[reddragdiva]

sushidog posted a great question on office totty. So, in the interests of comment-whoring: [Poll #584274]

Please tell your most entertaining office totty stories in the comments.

I have slept with one person I met at work, although she technically wasn't a co-worker at the time. It didn't form a relationship because she was nowhere near as keen on me as I was on her. Ah well. It appears ex-totty (and ex-punks and ex-rock'n'rollers) all ends up in local government — there's a lot of people here who clearly used to be the prettiest one.

Update: Damn, I forgot a poll option: Are you the office totty? How do you know? Or are you just the only one there who appears to have heard of not looking like a sack of shit? And is there someone at work you desperately want to fuck, no matter how bad an idea it obviously is? And is there anything else obvious I've forgotten?

Comments

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

Not office totty, but there's a cute chick with glasses (and sometimes with interesting hair colours) on the factory floor.

[reddragdiva]

Mmmmmmmmmmm. Best sort of office totty: brightens the place up, and you don't ruin it by speaking to them.

[seahorsemystic.livejournal.com]

I slept with this very hot camera man (I sold commercial television). I was feeling pretty down on myself at the time, and he just gave me this attention. I came up with the, "I had a dream about you last night" senario, and it led to office games. We would wait until everyone left and have sex on the desk of our boss. lol I was pretty young then, and stupid, but it sure was FUN. We kept it up for a while, but I met someone and moved on. He was still really flirty, but that was it for my office fling. He was so HOT. I can't remember his name. And I think he was in a relationship with someone at the time, but I can't truthfully remember.

[cookwitch.livejournal.com]

Well, there was only ever one other person here that could have been totty but he was too arrogant and had dandruff, when you got close. Eeww. So, only me left. Everyone here is either My Boss which is a real no no or The Small Gnome Like Man who smells.

I did have a fling once with a co-worker YEARS ago who was cute but it was short lived as he got the sack. Shame really, good kisser.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

Now-and-then relationship in which the other party happened to get a job with my employer in one of the then phases. So I didn't meet them at work.

As it turns out they are now attached to a different coworker.

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

I've never shagged a collegue while they were a collegue, but before and after yes...

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

When my friend Meg worked at City of Perth, one of her co-workers was Jamie Parry, former lead singer of the Marigolds, so both ex-rock and roller and probably qualifies as ex-totty for many, and in local government. Your theory makes sense.

[reddragdiva]

Yeah, but Jamie was in local government at the time as well!

(What is it with musicians and local government?)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

As you should well know by now, the lack of a requirement to work long or hard leaves plenty of time to get over the hangover of sex, drugs & rock'n'roll so it's the obvious place for a musician to snooze and get paid for it.

[necialma.livejournal.com]

I am the only totty here..it is the DWP after all..and I get to wear a corset all day and dye my hair if I like so I get glegged at by most of the males and glared at by the women!

I did used to shag models I had worked with years back.

[siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com]

i had a wicked crush on a boy at tree planting. he was tall, thin, and blonde and wore white pirate shirts and leggings. when my tent blew into the lake he offered to share his trailer with me (which in retrospect was probably an expression of interest) but i had a boyfriend back home so i fished my tent out to dry and slept next to the fire in the dining tent. i never really talked to him much, so i don't think he was *that* interested. but he did seem pretty shy. i seriously wish i knew then what i know now - i would have shagged him senseless, and enjoyed tree planting much more.

[reddragdiva]

Well, you'd expect that sort of temp work for the young, dumb and energetic to be a seasonal shagfest.

[siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com]

well, yes. it was. i was left out - i regret this *enormously*.

[vatine]

besides, a tree-planter would have extensive root experience...

[grega.livejournal.com]

I only have tales on how I've grossed out the office bike when she's made motions that she may hit on me.

[reddragdiva]

Yes, I remember that one ;-)

[grega.livejournal.com]

Which one? There's the kilt one and the sink one, both from Christmas parties.

[reddragdiva]

Oh ghod, just the kilt one. Okay, retell 'em ...

[grega.livejournal.com]

The sink story was was from the year before the kilt one.

I was sat at a round table which had the bike and a shy, boyfriend desperate girl sat next to her. The shy girl stated she was going to the toilet and the bike said she'd go too and keep her company. The bike then leans over and suggestively asks me if I want to join them in the ladies loo, at which the shy girl blushes and giggles. I replied "No thanks, there's always a queue in the Ladies so I'd have to piss in the sink". The rest of the table laughed and neither of them bothered me again all night :D

For those who haven't heard the other story, the next Christmas party I wore my kilt. Much comment was jokingly made as to whether I was a true Scotsman or not (I was). Later in the evening the bike sits next to me on a sofa in the bar and suggests we go off privately and I show her if I'm wearing anything under my kilt. I tell her there's no need for that, she just has to sniff where I'm sitting on the sofa next time I go to the bar... if it smells of shit she'll know I've got nothing on under my kilt. She said "Yeuch!", stood up and walked off :D

[necialma.livejournal.com]

mass giggles here :)

[rosefox]

Does it count that I've gotten my two most recent employers to hire sinboy as well?

A few years ago, I started working at a lovely little Mac shop where I'd been a regular customer for some time. The woman training me was taking me around and introducing me to everyone. As we got to the last tech on the desktop bench, she said, "This is fangorn." I looked at him and thought Mmm, yes please. He looked at me and thought Mmm, yes please. I asked him to lunch a week later and took him home about a week after that. We were lovers the rest of the year and a half that I worked there. Of course, I should also note that the male desktop techs hooking up with the female store clerks was so common that no one even bothered joking about it; I believe one of those couples, who got involved very shortly after fangorn and I did, is still together some five... no, six years later.

Never had sex at work, but I've always wanted to. regyt and I plan to come back to my office sometime late at night and have sex on the big conference table, or bent over the boss's desk. Papers scattering everywhere, both of us rumpling our suits... mmm.

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Dated an appealing ex-boss of mine for a while. Pretty much six months after I got a new position in the same firm and she was no longer my boss, I got an invitation out for cocktails. It made for a nicer winter than it might have been otherwise.

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

Argh. I'm going to have to assume that this does not apply to The Theatre. If it did, then I could answer. With really good answers.

Otherwise, I've been the office totty, twice, but it never really went anywhere. Okay, once, it did, but that was later on, and it was rather disappointing.

[reddragdiva]

Not sleeping with your cow-orkers would be weird and exceptional in theatre, yes?

[jauncourt.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. I've had some adventures in theatre contexts. But, I think everyone is office totty in theatre.

There was the time I was making out with a beautiful (botticelli venus beautiful) young lady at an actor's party and a whole bunch of other people joined in. Being a bit non-plussed by some of them, we simply wriggled out from under them and left.

[lothie.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what totty is.

I have a rule these days against sleeping with co-workers, but I used to do it all the time plus I've worked with both my ex-husbands in the past.

I met one of my current bfs through work, though he's a customer, not a co-worker, and I go out to dinners and lunches a lot with one of my co-workers, though officially we're not "dating".

So I'm just a bad, bad girl, and I should be spanked.

[ali-in-london.livejournal.com]

I did date someone who I know before I was working at the same place as him, although the relationship only started after I got the job.

We have a fair bit of office totty here, although I think it's highly unlikely I'd do anything about it. The aforementioned relationship did end while we were still working in the same place, and luckily I was just a part-time worker but it was still weird having to spend time with him. That's the problem: if it goes tits up in any way, you still have to see them every week day.

[octopusgrrl.livejournal.com]

I spent months painfully crushing on the office totty at my government department job years ago - we were great drinking buddies and had a flirty blokey friendship, but obviously I didn't get him drunk enough :/ I was too young to think of the ramifications of sleeping with co-workers, so I would have been up for anything like a shot. My god, was he beautiful! He had the face of a Burne-Jones angel and was hit on by guys constantly, but swore he was straight. I tried (in my own oblique way) to seduce him one night after the work Xmas party: invited him back to my place, offered him a bed for the night (in a buddy-buddy you-can-take-it-either-way-and-neither-of-us-will-end-up-embarrassed way) but he ended up driving home drunk to his parent's home miles away instead - woo, ph34r my sexual charms! :P

Following that experience, I gave up on him as a bad idea and nursed my bruised ego for a while before meeting P - he was very wonderful and refreshingly not-totty, so fell totally head over heels for him very quickly. Anyway, as a coda, a few years later I met totty at a party where he was really drunk and confessed to me that he really fancied me - I nearly hit him.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

[add obligatory confession to having crush on important person in department here]

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I married my office totty. So there.

[narnee.livejournal.com]

I was generally too young to be sleeping with my co-workers when I worked in office.[1] But I would have totally gone for it with a few people I fancied but was too shy to let them know if I knew then what I know now, minus the knowledge I have now about not shitting where one eats.

I probably was the office totty, but given that I was young and female and worked in IT, that's sort of a given[2].

[1] I was a virgin the first six months I was in tech support and jailbait for all but the last few months a few years later. This did not stop me from making out with several co-workers[3], however.
[2] Signs of being IT office totty may include being passed over for promotion no matter how well one does, being screwed out of pay, and regularly being sexually harrassed by a variety of different bosses. No, I'm not cynical and bitter about that at all.
[3] There are so many stories there.

[kest]

bosses count as coworkers, right?

[reddragdiva]

Yep!

(I have had one cute boss. She was startlingly pretty.)

[silverfiligree.livejournal.com]

Not exactly office totty, but I'm surrounded by literally thousands of teenagers which must have a certain charm for a certain sort of perv. Not that I'm on the prowl or anything but you needn't look far for fresh-faced pert totty round here ;o)