Recipe: Home-made crack ice cream.

[reddragdiva]

• Y'know, maybe SixApart have a point.

• Pavarotti died this morning. Bugger.

Last night, redcountess went to Alan Cumming's Arse Exposed Live On Stage The Bacchae with mirrorshard, ruthi and apiphile. So arkady, Freda and I had a quiet night in and Arkady decided to turn a spare pint of cold coffee into YUMMY TASTY CRACK. Laborious but wondrous.

Ingredients:

• A pint of cold coffee (proper 568mL Imperial pints, not pissy little 'Merkin pints)
• A pint of double cream
• About half a pound of sugar
• A large mixing bowl
• A four quid hand mixer from Tesco. A blender won't do as it won't get the air in. If you have a mixer that includes its own bowl and you can just set it going, double the times.

1. Pour the cream into the bowl. Stir in about half the sugar (so it doesn't fly everywhere when you mix it).

2. Mix slowly for about ten minutes. Your goal is to get air into the cream and thicken it into a whipped aerated mass.

3. Pour the coffee in, mixing in as you go. Stir in the rest of the sugar.

4. Mix slowly for another twenty minutes. Longer if you're not sick of it yet. Mix, mix, mix. The more mixing, the more air and the finer the bubbles.

5. When you're thoroughly tired of this and your arm's about to fall off, put the stuff in the freezer.

By morning you should have an excuse to have ice cream for breakfast. Because if you eat this stuff after six in the evening, you're not sleeping that night. Arkady and I started the day with a BOWL OF CRACK each. Mmm, sugary lardy crack. *bouncebouncebouncebouncebounce*

Pedant's note: it's technically a gelato variant, not "ice cream." I DON'T CARE. CRAAACK!

Comments

[phelyan.livejournal.com]

Wait. Ice cream without making a custard or using gelatin? What kind of madness is this?

[reddragdiva]

OK, it's technically a granita. I DON'T CARE!

[cookwitch.livejournal.com]

It's got ice and it's got cream, therefore it's 'ice cream'. Gelatin??

[arkady.livejournal.com]

Glycerin I could understand....

[reddragdiva]

Nitroglycerin for added crack value? Ethylene glycol for freezing body thetans?

[cookwitch.livejournal.com]

Yes, me too, as it stops the hard freeze but gelatin has no place in ice cream. Mind you, enough Baileys also stops the hard freeze. *ahem*

[vatine]

At least some ice cream has egg yolk added prior to freezing, but I suspect that the careful pre-freezing aeration would do the trick.

[vatine]

'S got no booze and it's got cream, no granite (tehy're essentially sorbets, they are, but using half and half passata of fruit or berry and half booze, not uncommonly champagne).

[reddragdiva]

I mean a gelato variant, of course, not granita.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I have a hand-blender with a whisk attachment which should prevent the Arm Death. Hurrah!

(Sadly I'm on a diet so will not be making this. I will be a size 14 again if it kills me).

[reddragdiva]

Oh God no. This is about as un-health as food gets. Even a Big Mac contains some protein and greenery.

[damerell.livejournal.com]

Well, you'll make a good-looking corpse.

Actually you'll probably be all green and manky but YKWIM.

[rufus.livejournal.com]

pssht, those paintings aren't *that* bad.

[lovelybug.livejournal.com]

mm, lovely crack :)

wow, that snape site is a bit special.

Possible omission

[psych0naut.livejournal.com]

The ingredients list has "about half a pound of sugar" but the instructions say to mix in only half of it. What happened to the other half? Did you forget to mention it, or are we supposed to have it left over for topping? :)

Re: Possible omission

[reddragdiva]

D'oh! You stir it in after adding the coffee. Fixed.

[sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm going to have to stay away. Ask ashbet: coffee and sugar make me hyper.

[arkady.livejournal.com]

There's about half a pint of apple granita left in the freezer... apple puree and double cream, no added sugar - the apples were sweet enough without. ;-)

[xlerb.livejournal.com]

American translation: 3.2 cups heavy cream, 1.6 cups coffee brewed at 150% strength.

Completely untested, and I'm trusting Wikipedia on the intercontinental milkfat stats.

[mindspillage.livejournal.com]

I can never un-see those paintings, and that makes me sad.

[mirukux.livejournal.com]

ooh, that sounds rather luverly and so worth the effort. recipe bookmarked, shall give it a whisk at some point.

[vatine]

For even more ice-cream making fun... Take double cream, mix with flavouring of choice. Pour into a LARGE plastic (not, under any circumstyances and pain of lost limbs metal) bowl, then whisk with a plastic or wooden slatted spoon as someone else adds a trickle of liquid nitrogen. Yummy, quick and fun for all the family. Tasted fab, too (I blame the Swedish youth science federation, myself).

[tenshikurai9.livejournal.com]

Crack added to my memories.

[gothgeekgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering how much cocoa powder it would need to make mocha CRAAAAAAACK.