Ikea Marked For Death.

[reddragdiva]

The journey to Ikea Brent Park by bus is merely a pain in the arse. The journey back - carrying stuff - is an utter bastard.

The chair I wanted is quite definitely not in the current range. They do have some complete shit that would be quite good except that there is no way to actually fix the back at the height you set it to. The height is set by resting it in some sort of notched arrangement which it happily pops out of if, e.g., you move your back or shoulders while sitting in it.

The bedroom furniture department was where the aesthetic life was smothered out of me. It's partly gratifying and partly a subject for despair to realise at thirty-six that the aesthetic opinions you formed at sixteen were in fact correct the first time.

So, no bed or chair. I did get three pillows and a butterfly corkscrew (which I wanted to stab myself or everyone around me with repeatedly). And a king-size quilt from the Tesco across the carpark. Which was damn cosy last night.

1. If it's not in the catalogue, it doesn't fucking exist any more and never did.
2. Don't even attempt it without a car.
3. Make damn sure you know precisely what you want. Get it and get the fuck out.
4. Don't go in the first place.

Comments

[sola.livejournal.com]

what, did i not martyr myself as a warning? was it all for nothing, then? heh.

[reddragdiva]

I have done the Suburban Couple in Ikea precisely once. But we had a fecking car.

[reaverbob.livejournal.com]

Points duelly noted

[simonb.livejournal.com]

Whenever ejde and I head to Ikea we normally travel by car to the one at Thurrock on a mid-week day. Any other time and the store is horrendous to go around.

When we know that we'll be getting something large we'll normally hire a transit of some sort and have lots of fun filling it up :)

The only other fun this is that their stock control system is really really crap; someone really needs to go over it with a fine sledgehammer.

[saiira.livejournal.com]

I go to the ikea in Brent Park for fun. But then again, I have a car

[reddragdiva]

U r s1ck and w0rng.

[arkady.livejournal.com]

The art of shopping in Ikea trent Park with saiira:

• Do it on a Thursday.
  
• Go to dinner first at La Porchetta.
  
• Go to Sluts meet.
  
• Get bored, go to Ikea.
  
• Swan around in Ikea looking ludicrously Goth at 10pm. (Corsets optional, though Saiira and I wore ours.)
  
• Select your items.
  
• Look for big friendly men to put your chosen items on trolley - failing that, have two frail-looking Goth-girlies manouver items onto trolley whilst they give dirty looks to all nearby men (who aren't offering to assist).
  
• Wheel trolley(s) to checkout.
  
• Pay, then get Ikea to deliver to your home.
  
• Voilá! Ikea shopping the easy way! Sit back and enjoy Ikea furniture lifestyle. :-)

[stevek.livejournal.com]

There's an Ikea in Croydon, I rarely go to it because the traffic is a complete nightmare when driving in or out!

Saying that, they do sell candles rather cheaply.

[inulro.livejournal.com]

Ikea in Bristol is a 5 minute drive from my house and right next to the Tesco where we shop every week. I've only been three times in four years though. It's definitely not fun when you're in the middle of moving house and realize that the previous occupants took the curtain rods with them, but approaches fun if you have adequate time and take some friends.

Having had a look at this year's catalogue, we won't be going back soon.

Jodi

[zotz]

I went to an Ikea once - the one near the Dartford bridge (for various reasons, I was preoccupied with whether an aircraft carrier would fit through). It was an incredible dispiriting experience. I don't really like these monstro-sheds that seem to be the future of retail, and flimsy furniture brings me out in a nasty rash. I was looking for something to take records, and unfortunately I'd worked out that records weigh about 45lbs a foot. This is more than twice what Ikea's best adjustable chipboard shelves seem to take, and none of the actual wood ones have anywhere near a 12" vertical spacing.

Some of the smaller odds and ends were quite nice, but I wasn't really tempted by anything substantial. I may have to get a load of planks and bodge it.

[reddragdiva]

I have/had my records stored in plastic crates - 'hobby cubes', about 13"x13", Aus$10 each. Haven't seen 'em here, but I'm sure they exist. You could also get ones that were just the right size for seven-inches.

Shelving is a tricky one. Officeworks had some interesting-looking shelving for archives - paper being of comparable density to vinyl. Is there a UK equivalent of Officeworks?

(If you want to cry, look at the prices on the Officeworks site and divide by three for the cost in pounds.)

[inulro.livejournal.com]

Some people at my work have plastic cube crates with wheels for storing files, which look like the perfect size for LPs, but I bet if I got a ruler out they'd be half an inch too small or something. Um, yes, they came from Ikea.

My vinyl lives in a really old sideboard I bought at the Barnardos charity shop for £20. (There was a shelf halfway up which I moved up a bit so vinyl fit on the bottom and CDs on the top. Tapes in the drawers). Zotz and RDD probably have too much vinyl for this to be practical.

Also, the sideboard has been moved too many times and wasn't of top quality to begin with, so it's badly falling apart. Every time I see a neat replacement in a secondhand shop it's some combination of £300 and/or 200 miles from home.

Jodi

[reddragdiva]

I have sixteen crates of 12" and four crates of 7". Does that count as 'too much'?

(There's a reason I have no idea when I'm shipping it over ... that's a bit over a third of a ton.)

[girfan.livejournal.com]

No, not too much.
I probably have just as much.

I shipped mine along with lots of books, photos, furniture and kitchen stuff.
I think my stuff filled 1/2 a container.
It may cost less than you think since you will only have to pay for a portion of a container.

[girfan.livejournal.com]

The Ikea plastic crates fit 12" records...I took an LP and checked and it fits.

The crates are found in the children's section and come in a variety of colours and can be given wheels if you wish.
I think they are around £3 for the small and £6 for the large.
I have videos stacked in some, photos in some, and other items in others. I don't use them for records since I have a shelving unit my father made for me that was custom made to hold 12" records.

[sushidog.livejournal.com]

Try Staples (www.staples.co.uk). No on-line catalogue, but you can order a dead-tree catalogue, and they do deliver. Failing that, are you trying to tell us that now you've got a swannky high-paid job, you're too posh for planks and breeze blocks? :-)

[reddragdiva]

Yes, I saw Staples on the way to Ikea, and mentally bookmarked it.

I'm just too sxxy to own stuff.

[marnameow.livejournal.com]

We go to the Croyden one - it's really quiet at night, usually. And then get them to deliver most of what we buy. I like IKEA for the cheap kitchen gadgetry. But I'm a kitchen-slut....

Plus the Croydon one has a tram-stop across the road.

>> It's partly gratifying and partly a subject for despair to realise at thirty-six that the aesthetic opinions you formed at sixteen were in fact correct the first time.

What are you looking for in a bed, anyways?

[reddragdiva]

It wasn't the beds, it was the bedroom furniture. Freakin' UGLY SHIT, daddy-o.

I have an aversion to Stuff at the moment. So something cheap and large, I think. At minimum, a futon mattress on the floor :-)

No idea where I'll be looking this weekend, but it really really should be done this weekend.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Friends Rob & Simon (from my previous and more peripatetic life) who'd both done the squat thing in their own previous lives, managed to live an entirely demountable lifestyle.

For instance, bookshelves were plastic crates mounted on a plank-and-breezeblock substrate.

If I could find record boxes that stack, I'd be a happy Camper.

Though of course getting one's entire Pile of Crap into a succession of 19" racks and flightcases brings to mind the Ugly Spectre of Roadiness...

Though I guess it was good enough for my grandfather, since his Officer's Demountable Chest is a fine, brass-bound furniturial object - and not a hint of particleboard or woodex-effect melamine in sight.

[reddragdiva]

"Friends Rob & Simon (from my previous and more peripatetic life) who'd both done the squat thing in their own previous lives, managed to live an entirely demountable lifestyle."

I think that's what I'm after, yes. An anti-nesting instinct.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

You'll have to go away and then come back 15 years ago then. See you on Claremont Road.

[reddragdiva]

With the job and the paid-for room, I mean!

This would be impossible if I couldn't do things like keep vast amounts of music on a physically small hard disk.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

I knew a couple of people with straight(ish) jobs who lived there.

I blame Sexbat for reminding me of flat-trashing parties.

Anyway, the Philosophy of Reduced Belongings is an interesting mental exercise. One which quickly gives rise to the Philosophy of Robust Portability.

Of course it all falls over if you want to keep things like lathes.

futons

[girfan.livejournal.com]

The ones at Ikea are reasonably priced...and you need not have bought a frame.

Check the Futon Company (there is one on Tottenham Court Road).
I got a beautiful hard wood sofa bed frame there for under £200 and they delivered.
I already had the futon, though.

There is also a place in Camden on the road that goes east/west by Staples Market (no A-Z to tell you the name) that sells futons and bed frames.

Re: futons

[inulro.livejournal.com]

There's also a lovely futon shop on Muswell Hill High Street.

Jodi

Re: futons

[reddragdiva]

Heh, isn't that one the Muswell Hill branch of the same Futon Company in Tottenham Court Road?

I'm currently being appalled by HOW FUCKING MUCH beds cost in London. Now seeking places for a second-hand bed. I'm REALLY not two hundred and fifty quid's worth of fussy ...