Remember the silver age of the Web?

[reddragdiva]

Tonight we're going to party like it's 1995. Possibly the worst site ever. (No thanks to Lionel for this one.) You may wish to claw your eyes out before clicking that link, in order to save time.

Comments

[mofette.livejournal.com]

HOLY SHIT BALLS!

[reddragdiva]

Heh. Should I feel privileged to rate that GIF?

The special thing about this site is it's a current thing.

"Unlimited means up to 10 pages."

And this site has to be the first time I've seen someone using multiple commas. Not as ellipses, but just to emphasise the comma's essential, er, commaness.

Re:

[mofette.livejournal.com]

My first webpage was like that. God I love those shite tiling backgrounds.

*hangs head in shame*

[glitchdrei.livejournal.com]

dear god.

people actually pay for someone to do that to their website?!

maybe they think the lord will protect them from anyone who views it.

[reddragdiva]

But they do WEBSITES FOR PUPPIES! HOW COULD YOU PASS THAT BY!@!!!

[tephramancy.livejournal.com]

*shudder*

[reddragdiva]

But it has PUPPIES! PUPPIES!!!

The site gets better the deeper you go. You'll soon be writing browser-detection code that only lets through lynx and rejects anything that could possibly display an image.

[giolla.livejournal.com]

I created images of [IMAGE] for that, also the ode to lynx graphic is quite nice.

But why go to that effort, just make the navigation be only by link tags. What your fancy pants graphical browser doesn't support link tags properly shame.

[ickle-yuki.livejournal.com]

You evil evil evil evil thing!

-plots evily and sniggers to herself-

[dcarson.livejournal.com]

[glitchdrei.livejournal.com]

lmao!!

i am in the uni computer lab and everyone just looked at me funny as i burst out laughing as soon as i saw that :P

[dcarson.livejournal.com]

p.s. I gather there was also some nasty-ass music on that site? Luckily I was spared that - I just got warned that some Quicktime component or other needed to be installed. Phew!

[cyber-wh0re.livejournal.com]

The music was some sphincter-losseningly poor SB Midi rendition of a harpsichord and flute duet... My god it was so so so so bad!!!!!

The Humanity! Oh, The Humanity!!!

[reddragdiva]

A web page isn't a web page without BACKGROUND MIDI MUSIC!!!

As someone from The Other Place pointed out:

]It does have a few things holding it back. To start with:
]1. Does not attempt to resize the browser window with badly written javascript
]2. Background image actually tiles with no visible seams
]3. There is no attempt to protect the valuable images displayed on the site by trapping right-clicks
]4. None of the dogs appear to be playing poker

And remember: their pricing is Negotianable!

[damerell.livejournal.com]

Quite. It's very bad at what it does, but it misses a lot of opportunities. No Flash; no Mystery Meat Navigation; no frames, for starters.

[redcountess]

Oh god, that *is* terrible...I think if I stared long enough at that site I'd get my period just dandy, it's so femme! I think the business card at the top and the Christian Business logo say it all really. I am sooooo glad I told Mozilla not to play embedded audio! I think Evonne is probably the type who keeps her lounge suite wrapped in plastic and has only had sex twice in her life, producing her two young republican children, or maybe even once, on her wedding night, and she found it so distasteful she decided to raise dogs instead ;-)

meeeeeeeow!

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

"everyone will be different in their own Special way!!!"

Presumably in their attitudes towards punctuation and capitalisation as well, then?

[mirukux.livejournal.com]

ye gawds!! that is so utterly foul!!

Class

[kikunohana.livejournal.com]

Too too beautiful. She's also produced a whole range of truly stylish sites for other people - my fave is the scary cat one with sparkling eyes. aaaaah. That really takes me back - and so glad to see people keeping up the noble tradition of midi music to welcome you to their lovely site.

[kitty-goth.livejournal.com]

That simply *has* to be parody.

Rather old parody, but parody nonetheless.

If not, I'm mailing the motherfucker anthrax. Think Of The Children!!!!