And meows: "He loves you, Polly Jean."

This morning the kittens went in to HAVE THEIR BALLS OFF! Tell your taxi driver that as you start your journey and you'll have an epic cat owner's conversation. Thank goodness Madam hadn't gone into heat by now, her mother having gotten knocked up with them a month younger than she is now ... The lovely Claire is back at the vet, so we can expect competence in future. By crikey they were upset not to be fed this morning. I shall be fetching them this evening, reproductive systems exchanged for microchips. And hopefully a tad subdued.

First day back at work and I'm not on the network. The network guy held up the disconnected far end of the cable: "I think I've found the problem." The tube strike didn't shut any of my stations.

I can't find my work shoes, so it's Doc boots today. Being me, I was trying to think of the stupidest possible place I could have left them, and I think it'd be the Dev on Friday 23rd December, when I collected the new boots. Either there or Black Rose. I'll be making the world's dumbest lost property calls later this afternoon.

axy_666 got burgled just after Christmas and they even nicked the cloves his folks had given him. So I've sent him my last two packs of Djarums. I have one pack left (which will please arkady, who won't kiss me when I've been smoking them) and I desperately hope my Gudangs arrive before those run out, because I don't fancy paying £6.50 a pack for Djarums, of all things.

I've been using a Mac too long already and keep hitting "alt", expecting to hit "command."

Tomorrow evening I plan to meet up with narnee at Bisexual Underground.

Shakin hands was like shakin a hot, fat, oily bone holdin on for far too long.

Just got the kitaens back from the vet, minus their reproductive capabilities. They both have their heads in buckets. Neo is lying across redcountess begging cuddles (Claire said how sooky he was at the vet) and Madam is hiding under the bed feeling depressed. While chasing Madam to get the bucket back on her head, the groceries came; the driver left me with the words "keep smokin'" and we think he'd had a bit himself, since he called ten minutes later to ask for directions to a completely different house and Liz had to try several times to get across that we were where we were and that he'd just been here. And I left my bag in the minicab, and cheers to the driver who brought it straight back intact. JUST A LITTLE FRAZZLED, YES.

I'm working on a prospective Uncyclopedia article about Cat Piss Man (as defined here by sclerotic_rings) and I would very much like your assistance. I have already sent a draft to sclerotic_rings for comment, but I would like your stories of and links to cat pissery of the human kind. It will be written from the viewpoint of someone aggrieved at the label, so quotes and links to use would be really good.

Update: And Madam just got out of her bucket again. What a clever kitty!