Plastic age.

Wanting to shag the lift's voice is perfectly normal. It's like the sexay plummy accented dominant woman talking for the GPS. I'm sure there's a whole world of bad GPS/Lift slash just waiting to make people want to spork their eyes out.

courtesy hieroglyphe, who now has some idea what she's in for

Parents defend controversial decision on trust-fund daughter.

SEATTLE, Friday — Paris is a nineteen-year-old American girl afflicted with a disorder called trust-fund encephalopathy, a form of financially-induced emotional retardation, which confines her to her vacuous life, unable to think, talk sense, walk rather than drive or even keep herself sober. She is fed through her nose and doctors say her social growth is that of a seven-year-old.

Her parents, Pounding Bat Sodomy and Felacia Cunnington-Kennedy, call Paris "Mattress Angel" because she stays wherever she gets laid, most of the time on her back. She had been a source of concern for them because they were afraid one day she would grow to be an adult, making it problematic for them to trust her apparently absent good sense or take care of her as now.

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