I love you! Now me! I love you!

[reddragdiva]

• I have been greatly enjoying Uncyclopedia (the one with the beard from the other universe) and have greatly extended the article on Vegemite. See also air guitar, Scotland, George W. Bush, Margaret Thatcher, The Pope, Bands with only one song, RTFM, banned from the Internet, Wikipedia, LiveJournal, All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

• I recommend duranorak's new kittensounds music rant blog.

arkady's business cards have arrived and are apparently fantastic. BUY A DOLLY.

I hang out in a volatile social group of goths whose relationship spans are often measured in weeks and who play musical partners a lot. I've conspicuously had the same wife and the same girlfriend for two years. So people ask me about polyamory. (The idea that I am what passes for an expert opinion is genuinely frightening.)

In most cases I fear discouragement is probably the right answer — "You know how much work one girlfriend is? Two is ten times as much." — but I think I've got the key question: "If you see the love of your life kissing someone else and being genuinely happy to be doing so, will you be genuinely happy about it for them? If not, you probably shouldn't get into this."

Many people quite like the idea of a selection of lovers, but balk when you point out the opposite applies. The capacity for compersion/frubbliness/other-less-contrived-sounding-word is the vital thing. Not necessarily for everyone or all the time, but at all. Otherwise they won't be happy in this sort of arrangement.

Have I discovered the Polyamorist's Philosopher's Stone?

Comments

[juliet]

I think that's a bit unfair. I'm not sure I'd always be happy with a partner having noisy sex with someone else while I was in the house - although it would depend on what I was up to, I guess :-) - but am entirely happy with it going on elsewhere, & also if appropriate with hearing about it afterwards. I don't think that in itself is an issue - it's just something to take into account when arranging things.

Mind you, maybe I'm just easily embarrassed...

[pir.livejournal.com]

I can't say that I particularly like hearing it either but it's still a good thing to ask people and get them thinking about possibilities, it may well happen.

I also recommend having seperate bedrooms than with more than one wall inbetween them.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

*nods*
After all, there are plenty of reasons to be unhappy about noisy sex within earshot that have nothing whatsoever to do with jealousy: tiredness, early start the next day; embarrassment; worrying about disturbing the neighbours.

[reddragdiva]

There's a story there which I couldn't possibly tell in a public journal. But it did involve inventing an actual new perversion to get around the noise problem.