Words of advice for young people.

[reddragdiva]

Teenager? Want to keep yourself pure and holy? Want to be able to know what you're talking about but truthfully admit to a low number if pressed? Just remember: you KEEP YOUR VIRGINITY if you only sleep with the same sex! Same with sodomy: if it's anal or oral, it's NOT SEX and DOESN'T COUNT. You can reach your wedding night pure in mind, heart and body but still have a clue what you're doing. Just please remember your condoms in the meantime.

Inspired by eyeliner297's travails. I recommend cheap vodka for the psychic shock.

Comments

[arkady.livejournal.com]

Do not ask me where I found (http://www.anime-sex-cartoons.com/hell14.jpg) this (http://www.anime-sex-cartoons.com/hell15.jpg). (NSFW. Not safe for eyes either!!)

[disastrid.livejournal.com]

http://www.technicalvirgin.com

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

You might be interested in reading The Usenet Thread In Which Huey Is Accused Of Having Teh Buttsecks With Someone At AOL (http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.cecil-adams/browse_frm/thread/6878784a976d3950), and admire my restraint in not replying with lurid details about specifically which someone at AOL, how often, with which sex toys, in which positions, and how much I enjoy it.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

I did not find those comix funnay at all. You obviously meant to post these (http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20051030.html) two (http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20051106.html) KTHXLOL. (also NSFW)

[arkady.livejournal.com]

I didn't say I found them funny. I did say they weren't worksafe.

Yours are not brane-safe. Then again, I don't think mine are either.

Diva is now giving me funny looks.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

Just point out that he's saving the world from alien invasion.

We're freakin' heroes, I tells yer!

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

You beat me to the linkage.

I love the "commercials".

[arkady.livejournal.com]

Rather him than me....

[lothie.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[hazyjayne.livejournal.com]

Damm! If only I had thought of that before I let all those pesky people in my bed...

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

Haven't read to the end of it because I haven't the energy, but something you stated early on in the thread is incorrect: AOL does swallow mail without sending a non-delivery notification. Our people have talked to their people about it. They do not view this as being a problem.

Also, in cases where $USER has their vanity domain hosted at $ISP forwarding to an AOL address, and they get spam to their vanity domain, and it ends up in their AOL box, and they complain about the spam--AOL chalks it up on $ISP's blacklist tab, rather than the actual sender. Our people have talked to their people about this as well. They do not view this as being a problem, either.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

The former I can't speak to without knowing more about specific circumstances. But it can't be all that widespread, or people would be talking about it, and they haven't in the time that AOL finished retooling their spam-handling stuff.

The latter I can speak to: it's not a problem. The user is complaining about getting spam from an IP address, so AOL is blocking that IP address. System works as designed, unless you're the person doing the forwarding, but still, there's a couple solutions to that: 1) don't forward anything to AOL, 2) don't forward spam to AOL, 3) get decent spam-filtering and don't let your users see it in the first place, much less forward it to AOL, 4) allow your users to forward things to AOL, but strangle any of them that forward spam to their own AOL account and then complain about it, 5) give up the intarweb bidnes and mow lawns for a living...

[rosefox]

Courtesy of AdRants. Click the image for the full-size version.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Why would I want to wear a condom on my wedding night?

[reddragdiva]

You can start any time! And no need to stop what you were doing before!

Ah, I see the problem: you should be in their bed.

Also, if you go on top, their mummy can worry about them getting knocked up.

[reddragdiva]

Why are you talking about ISPs' mail configurations in a post about sodomy? YOU PEOPLE ARE PERVERTED FREAKS.

[seph-hazard.livejournal.com]

*I* tried technical virginity.
Five months into my first serious relationship I gave up on technicalities.

Life got a hell of a lot more fun after that...

[reddragdiva]

I will of course not enquire into how technical you got.

[seph-hazard.livejournal.com]

Ah-but you know exactly how badly I managed to mess up the technicality!

[reddragdiva]

Indeed!

[vatine]

One mistake in your mail configuration and you might as well place yourself bent over the chair back and put out a 10l bucket of lube, erect a sign saying "Pounding Sodomy HERE!" pointing at your postyerior and drop your trousers. Servicing will begin immediately.

See! Mail configuration and sodomy are intimately related! Just like super glue and sex toys!

[wednesday]

Dude, it's your wedding night. Who wants to clean up semen?

(I sympathize with the cock issues, but love the whole Blort Receptacle concept.)

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

That's what vaginas are for! :-D

[reddragdiva]

I wonder why you're single.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Ok, ok, I should have added assholes and mouths too.

[reddragdiva]

But then you'll still be a virgin after your wedding night.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Well, I *do* live in a Red State (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_state).

[syringavulgaris.livejournal.com]

In deference to the wishes of the sodomy fans, I will restrict my response on your latter paragraph to "I disagree, vehemently."

And now, back to the buttsex.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

Y'all are missing the point here, and that's that antispam technology and buttsex are intimately related. That's why I have teh buttsex with someone on AOL's antispam team. We have so much in common! Spam-filtering and ass-fucking!

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

place yourself bent over the chair back and put out a 10l bucket of lube, erect a sign saying "Pounding Sodomy HERE!" pointing at your postyerior and drop your trousers. Servicing will begin immediately.

Ummm...I think there's a tab I click for that in Outlook 2003...

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

I consider every asshole a semen receptacle...

Wait, are we talking about the same thing here?

[ashbet]

*totally losing my shit*

I was, before now, not familiar with this comic. I am currently in stitches.

*bows down in respect*

Also, Orneryboy icon, yay!

-- Andi :D

[wikkidgothbabe.livejournal.com]

Cool icon!

[ksta.livejournal.com]

heheheehe

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

You may not consider MY asshole to be anything but a poop dispenser. Srsly. I'll kill the mothahfuckah even thinks about it.

[benchilada.livejournal.com]

I'm theeeeeeeeenking about it....

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

YOU A DEAD MAN