Another Solaris locked room puzzle.

My task: to recover a box from three DATs created using find [mount point] -mount -print | cpio -ovc -C32768 > /dev/rmt/0 for each of root, /var and /usr. The reverse command is some variation on cpio -ivcdmu -C32768 -I /dev/rmt/0. But which variation?

• Doing a complete install and splattering the tape contents across the file system gives a broken box. (Ever used a Windows install which has had components added or removed using a different version to the original install? Like that only so bad it won't even go into single-user.)

• Booting from CD, I can't work out how to get the files where I need them mounting the relevant slice for each mount point on /mnt.

• GNU cpio has --no-absolute-filenames (just what I need), but Solaris 8 cpio doesn't.

• I tried running it in a chroot, but chroot looks for the command you give it inside the chroot, where of course it isn't (and nor are all the libraries it needs, and copying /usr/lib into the chroot isn't sufficient). Same for the tape drive. (Though I've worked around that one by dumping the cpio archive to the disk, and cpio can at least open the dumped copy.)

Note that I have no idea if the archives actually add up to a working system when applied to a bare box. At least the tapes are still good. For now. Note also the box is not networked and won't be unless and until it's restored — all I have is a bare machine, some Solaris 8 CDs and three DATs.

Ideas please!

The dolls on the grille are caked in bloody bug guts.

It's the Land of Weird Shit on the laptop. I installed kubuntu-desktop a while ago, because no sensible free software desktop user will be running all-GNOME or all-KDE. I also installed all the KDE and GNOME salad I could find. Twenty-gig disk — free software toys? GIMME!

(The difference to the user is that GNOME is made as simple as possible and sometimes simpler, whereas KDE is the Land of Bling: if there's an empty space it must be filled with something annoying and flashy and preferably starting with K. KDE is like Windows that works properly; GNOME is like MacOS 9 duplicated with a Bizarro ray.)

So Saturday I tried starting the laptop in KDE instead of GNOME. Couldn't find hibernate or suspend, which was annoying (having to shut down completely each session). Got out of KDE, logged into GNOME ... it's broken. The panels flash and have nothing in them. Then they stop flashing and there's no way to start an application. Failsafe GNOME did the same. KDE BROKE GNOME!!

(I'm sure this isn't a common occurrence; arkady happily switches between the two with no problems. But it's definitely happened here!)

So I'm back in KDE and still can't find hibernate. Then I'm looking through the five zillion menus and spot the ACPI tab in the Battery section of the Laptop control panel. (Where's Waldo?) I see an option to suspend on closing the lid ...

... and it works fast and flawlessly. Searching the damn web showed that the suspend option is hidden in klaptop's right-click menu, and I guessed correctly that klaptop is the name of the battery icon, which is good 'cos suspending on lid close always really pissed me off. Standby (suspend to RAM, which is what our Mac G4 does — two seconds to suspend, four to resume) doesn't work, but Linux support for that sort of thing is patchy at best, and even Windows support isn't fantastic.

So KDE broke GNOME, but does suspend (though I'm sure GNOME would if they, e.g., provided a clicky button). And I think I do prefer KDE. But what the fuck.

Things Ubuntu 6.04 needs to kick arse:

• Make convenient stuff obvious. I shouldn't have to play Where's Waldo? with the interface! I should have been able to add it to my page months ago without scouring Google for that specific question after I'd accidentally discovered it was possible at all, rather than assuming it wasn't. Why isn't a clicky button to standby/suspend/hibernate sitting right there? Why aren't all three showing in both the GNOME (hibernate only) and KDE (none) logout menus? I've stopped even looking for stuff in GNOME any more, because they've taken too much out; I just assume they suck. Is that the aim?
• Integrate GNOME and KDE to the point that a user does not have to think about which desktop it's "supposed" to belong to. Not like Red Hat's disastrous Bluecurve, but just so a user can start a KDE app in GNOME or a GNOME app in KDE and not get an overly jarring experience (huge menu fonts, etc). Freedesktop.org is a start, but you have five months at most.
• Make damn sure KDE can't break GNOME or vice-versa, ever, ever. What the fuck.

I understand the details, but I don't want to have to. I'm running Ubuntu to do stuff, not to clog my brain with Linux minutiae.

I'm going to end up a developer at this rate.

Words of advice for young people.

Teenager? Want to keep yourself pure and holy? Want to be able to know what you're talking about but truthfully admit to a low number if pressed? Just remember: you KEEP YOUR VIRGINITY if you only sleep with the same sex! Same with sodomy: if it's anal or oral, it's NOT SEX and DOESN'T COUNT. You can reach your wedding night pure in mind, heart and body but still have a clue what you're doing. Just please remember your condoms in the meantime.

Inspired by eyeliner297's travails. I recommend cheap vodka for the psychic shock.